Floor Debates

It was one of those spectacular moments where I walked through the main area of the floor to go get something of mine that had printed a couple minutes after midnight and happened to pass two huge conversations, one about Predestination and the other about homosexuality and gender identity. SCORE. I still had tons of homework to do, but I couldn't help myself. So I stopped and talked to them for a little bit.

I don't mean to be pedantic or snooty when I say that I've totally forgotten that most people don't know the differences between sex, gender, different types of attraction, gender presentation, and sexual behavior. I literally sat down in the middle of a conversation where a few people were trying to figure out if it was sinful for the transguy that was on our floor last year to be attracted to women. I sat down and soon figured out what they were talking about, and one guy there started explaining to me who and what they guy is, using female pronouns, and I told him I actually knew the guy. ("Oh. Well then.") Then they asked me what I thought, and I told them that he's actually gay. And they're like, MIND BLOWN, and the conversation got derailed into explanations.

SEX

male - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - female

GENDER

man - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - woman

PRESENTATION

masculine - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - feminine

SEXUAL ATTRACTION

female - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - male

ROMANTIC ATTRACTION

women - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - men

EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION

women - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - men

SEXUAL BEHAVIOR

women - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - men

It is completely impossible for me to express how ecstatic I am that there finally exists a place where these conversations ARE ALREADY HAPPENING. Where I can help them happen, but where they aren't dependent on my action. Where I don't really feel the need to come out to every single person I talk to about gender and sexuality immediately, because it just isn't relevant to the conversation. Where discussions are practical without necessarily being personal, where conversation can be personal without being secret. I wish I could bring this to Bear Creek. So much. I wish I could bring this openness and this curiosity and this level-headedness to that place. If it could thrive anywhere, Bear Creek is the perfect place to make it grow.

I honestly think that, in a perfect world, every kid should be able to fill this out for themselves by the time they leave high school. Not because I think they should have it all figured out, but because they should both know what these things are and how they fit onto the spectrum, if they've considered it. I obviously don't think that anyone should feel pressured into "deciding" any of this, because the label isn't nearly as important as the process. And the process is bound to happen eventually.

SEX

male - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -X female

GENDER

man - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - X- - - - woman

PRESENTATION

masculine - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -X - - feminine

SEXUAL ATTRACTION

female - - - -X - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - male

ROMANTIC ATTRACTION

women - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -X - - - - men

EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION

women - - - -X - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - men

SEXUAL BEHAVIOR

women - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - men
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