(A)sexual is an excellent documentary about a community very frequently left out of the public - and queer - eye when it comes to characterizing the queer community. I’m so glad to have found their voice in the greater LGBTQ conversation, because I’ve already learned so much from the aces. The way asexual people encounter intimacy and gender is box-breaking and super authentic and really fascinating.
There a few things I’m particularly interested in in response to this film.
There a few things I’m particularly interested in in response to this film.
1) I’d love demisexual voices to be part of the conversation. As a kind of intermediate between aces and some of the very sexual people featured in the interviews, I imagine they could offer a lot of valuable input. I’m curious to learn how AVEN has tried to include the demi spectrum.
2) I would love to know how Christian communities respond to this kind of conversation. My upbringing essentially taught me to be demi - that it was inappropriate (or at least an unfortunate inescapability one should try to avoid) to ever have sexual feelings for anyone or anything before an intimate romantic relationship was leaning toward marriage. It’s fascinating to me that it’s so conflicting for most asexuals to grow up asexual because my teachers and mentors kind of praised as an unrealistic ideal based on the teachings in 1 Corinthians 7 (the purpose of sexual relationships are to prevent sexual sin).
3) My upbringing, in combination with the fact that I’m on the panromantic spectrum, was closeted lesbian, and have a messy undefined relationship between sexual attraction and emotional intimacy, led to what’s apparently an extremely asexual-typical kind of interaction with my friends, including the same kind of deep level of physical affection and intimacy.
Because of the presence of libido and a sexual attraction to women, I’ve never seriously considered myself on the asexual spectrum. But having watched this documentary, I’m excited by how asexual experiences might shed light on sexual people’s journeys and my own experience of the divide between emotional/physical/sexual desires and/or intimacy.
Just as a note, demisexuality is generally considered to be a subset of gray asexuality, which encompasses all of the gray areas between asexuality and sexuality. Not all gray-a people are demi, in the same way that not all Asians are Chinese. Also, demisexuals don't necessarily become sexually attracted to everyone they become emotionally close to or even everyone they have been in a romantic or close platonic relationship with. It may only happen a few times, ever, or maybe even with just a single person.
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