So, I reblogged this video a bit ago. And then Autostraddle tore it apart here. Okay, Autostraddle, you’ve got me again. (Damn I love you all.) You’re right - significantly more is wrong with this video than just the weirdo phallocentric remarks about penetration, which I mentioned on my original reblog of the video. I was also definitely with ya on the “No porn is ever made for lesbians" shit. And the “gold star" stuff was irrelevant/strange, as little as they meant by it.
But as much as I’m all for not “yucking someone else’s yum," and all, there is a point where I see two women together scissoring to a relatively quick, single climax; faking orgasm involving fixation on bodily fluids shortly after climax; doing things like deep-throating heels or eating bananas with ice cream or other phallic things in disgustingly oversexualized ways; fake-tan or artificial looking, overly-makeuped women; kitch outfits; and, yes, way more power dynamics, which are almost always structured in really unrealistic heteronormative ways, where it’s clear that one’s acting the part of the man and one that of the woman; and yes, the kind of strippers that would be part of a male fantasy, usually including a lot of the above… Yes, that is the point at which I yuck someone else’s yum. ‘Cause this yum is a really disturbing misrepresentation of a group of women a lot of straight men fetishize in and out of fantasy land because they’re just out of reach, “just pretending," secretly want it, yada yada yada.
There are very, very clear problems with a lot of that porn, and it’s far from problematic just because it’s focused on straight cis male sexual interests/roles. I’m increasingly conflicted about telling men they’re not allowed to have certain fantasies, because learning more about male sexuality, I get that it’s really hard to control, but the point at which I start to draw the “no, that’s actually just disgusting" line is where it becomes the kind of blatant unrealistic that it’s… disrespectful and offensive to populations that are a target of cis straight male privilege in real life - in this case, the queer community.
Also: the way DaveyWavey et al were “yuck"ing the content of that video was in a “this doesn’t appeal to me" -> “this isn’t typical of lesbians" way more than an “it’s wrong to like this" way, in the first place. It was meant as a reality check more than legitimate criticism, which… okay, fine, means that some unnecessary unintended implications slipped out.
I don’t mean to hate on the review, though, because even though I can’t go quite as far as she does, it’s an insightful and realistic unpacking of some assumptions a lot of people really do have about lesbians that are obnoxious. Mostly needed to get some more overdue rambling out of the system. ;)
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